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March 30th 2013
Revised February 15th 2014.
Maria, Jeshua's mother's soul, was a part of my life for many years.
How I released angst that had roots in an earlier life.
One of the reasons I started to release my emotions thoroughly back in 2003, was an increasing anxiety. I was assistant professor in drama at that time and had more and more trouble meeting my students. It appeared as extreme pain in my stomach, as if I was cut in two pieces, when I was thinking about giving classes to adult students. When I was present with my students though, it passed because I loved my work. I went to the doctor who gave me pills. However after 2 weeks I realized that they had side effects that I did not want. I decided to find out about what caused the pain and threw the pills in the toilet. From that day, I started to observe my life in a new way. I noticed that certain thoughts triggered the awful pain. Still it took me another year before I found the roots of it.
I had moved to the countryside then and had thought that the anxiety would disappear, but now the pain occurred when I decided to go to the shop. At that time I had started to move my thought into the pain in my body to find memories. One day I came back from the shop, I lay down and travelled into the pain with my thought. This time I made it! A wavy landscape showed up. It was like an old, brown photograph. I didn't recognize it from this life and the colour immediately gave me the impression that it was an old memory. Simultaneously I got the name Flandern in my ears, which is a district in Belgium. I have never been there, but I instantly knew I must have lived there in an earlier life time. I sensed the time to be much older than photographs, at about 1250, and I knew that the colour of the picture simply showed that it was an old memory.
The next impression was overwhelming. I knew that something dreadful happened with me there and that my cells did not want to show me exactly what. I just knew I was stoned. Lynched of people in the town where I lived. I felt the anger of people around me and the stones hitting my body without feeling the physical pain. My soul must have left my physical body because I could only remember the sensation of it. I just knew that I was stoned for having told a truth that was against the church and the public opinion. I immediately saw the parallel to my present situation that triggered the anxiety: When I worked at the college, I simultaneously I more and more searched for a spiritual truth... which was opposing to the academic environment I was a part of.
Understanding this, it was as if big blocks left my body. From that day, the anxiety was gone! What my inner self needed, was to understand the connection between that and this life time. Later, I worked through and released many painful situations from that life by the help of the Keys of liberation. As I did so, another, even earlier life showed up to be released. I had understood by many indications up through my life that I have an enormous love for humanity and bits of my life jigsaw puzzle had started to fall into place. It was the start of a sentence in a book that opened the door. It said: "Those who walk the Mary path..." I realized, that what I had told people in the Flanders town, was that I was a reincarnation of Maria, mother of Jesus. (Later I have discovered that my own soul did not live Maria's life. I was programmed to be her for a period to release her pain. Thus her life was stored in my cells' memory).
A batik picture I made 20 years ago, thinking icons show Mary's son as old man instead of a baby. I wanted a more true picture.
Day by day I released the pain of Maria, mother of Jesus also. An enormous guilt and grief, the feeling that she had failed as a mother. She felt that it was her fault that Jesus didn't succeed in the task to become a world teacher. After Jesus died, Maria walked from village to village to tell Jesus' story and teachings. As they were Essenes, they were brought up by very strict, but good and loving living rules. She continued his mission by telling her understanding of his teachings.
Simultaneously the disciples started their mission, much coloured by Paul's visions. He had been against Jesus while he was alive, but got revelations after his death that gave him a message to continue his mission. It was not the same as Maria's truth and wisdom, which was in alignment with Jesus own teachings. She claimed that everybody needs to release themselves by realizing what they do wrong, forgiving others and asking of forgiveness. Jesus himself never taught that he would release the sins of the humans.
As an old lady, more than 90 years old, she was stoned by a crowd in a town in Asia Minor for telling the story about Jesus her way. Her feeling of guilt was probably working against her and the negative energies that had made Jesus fall, worked in all the people present. The crowd killed her. The memories from that life influenced the lifetime in Flandern. Her wounds and subconscious thought patterns worked as creating energy. Explanation about the human psyche
During the last years I have discovered much more about Maria. She was Bh, the great Mother. Actually the soul Mother of our Creator. She has been used by the dark energies without understanding who she was. Her inner child of the origin of life has incarnated as me. Of that reason, I have released lives as long back as when the human race was transformed from advanced monkeys or the species that existed before humans. Several women have had the feeling of having been Mary. It's because they too were programmed to release her from the wounds of her life. They are now being de-programmed from being her.
Jesus' soul was a soul construction consisting of many He was constructed of two main souls that both were sons of our Creator Amaron early in human history.. His soul also consisted of components of many deities in addition to the two. A deity was a soul of human being from the early period of human life on Earth, who didn't have their own life in the time between their lives on Earth. It was a part of "the divine energy". In addition, when he was walking around as a master teacher, he got the components of the "master" that descended in him when he got fully enlightened and became a master. Therefore many people who live on Earth have during the last decades felt that they were Jesus. As it is now, the two souls who was parts of his Self, the centre of his soul, has incarnated as their inner children more than 30 years ago. The adult parts of their souls have much of the time served humanity under the doctrine of "christ", programmed by the "master" that had taken over our creator, until now. They have had no ability to release other people's pain. Jesus main soul has been hiding in a lower dimension, helping and comforting people in long periods up through the history since he lived on Earth.
These days the soul parts of Jesus are able to free themselves from the way they have been used by the ruling energies. They have now merged with their inner children who are already in incarnation. Thus Jesus will never come back as himself. Those people who had one soul component in Jesus will probably one day choose to release themselves of the pain related to his life that they still carry - and maybe become enlightened in the future.